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Adam likes Boys and Is Scared of Anyone Knowing

Dear Birdy,

I hope you can help me navigate through a difficult situation that's been weighing heavily on my mind. My name is Adam, and I'm a high school jock and a top swimmer in the state. I've been dating my girlfriend, Jessica, for two years now. But deep inside, I've been carrying a secret that I haven't been able to share with anyone.

You see, I've recently discovered that I'm gay. It's something I've struggled to accept and come to terms with. I never intended to hurt anyone, especially Jessica, who means a lot to me. However, my secret was inadvertently exposed when my best friend saw me with someone who I shared a connection with.

Now, my best friend has distanced himself from me, stating that he can't continue our friendship. I'm terrified that he will reveal my secret to others, including Jessica. The thought of losing her and the potential fallout from being exposed fills me with anxiety and fear.

Birdy, I don't know what to do or say to Jessica. I care about her deeply, but I can't deny my true self. I don't want to deceive her or lead her on, but I'm scared of the consequences and how it will affect our relationship.

Thank you for providing a safe space to share my concerns and for any help you can offer.


Dear Adam

Thank you for opening up and sharing your concerns with me. It takes courage to acknowledge and embrace your true self, especially when faced with the fear of potential consequences. I'm here to offer guidance and support during this challenging time.

Firstly, it's important to remember that self-discovery and acceptance are personal journeys. While it may be difficult, try not to internalize your friend's distancing as a reflection of your worth. True friends should support and accept us for who we are. Give your friend some space, and in time, they may come to understand and accept your true identity.

When it comes to Jessica, it's essential to be honest and open with her. Share your feelings and struggles, expressing your authentic self. Understand that this may be a difficult conversation for both of you, and she may need time to process the information. Be prepared for various reactions, as everyone navigates these situations differently.

Remember to prioritize your own well-being and mental health throughout this process. Seek support from trusted individuals, such as LGBTQ+ support groups, friends, or family members who are accepting and understanding. They can provide valuable guidance and help you navigate this journey.

Consider connecting with a counselor or therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues. They can offer professional advice, coping strategies, and a safe space for you to explore your feelings.

Above all, remember that embracing your true self is a beautiful and courageous act. It's okay to take the time you need to fully understand and accept yourself. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and know that you deserve love and acceptance for who you are.

Stay strong, Mark, and believe in your ability to navigate these challenges. You are not alone, and there is a vibrant community ready to embrace and support you for who you truly are.

With care and support,


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