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Dad saw my porn now he does not trust me

Birdy,

My dad stormed into my room and demanded to see what was on my computer. I'm 17 and love social media. I like some of the newer sites and occasionally I stumble across things that are pretty 'out there' and not really appropriate for Daddy's 'little southern doll' as he used to say. He took away my phone, my computer and grounded me. How should I get them back and restore my dad's trust in me? Mary-Anne, SC


Hey Mary-Anne,

I can understand how upsetting it must be to have your privacy invaded and feel like you've lost your freedom. Restoring your dad's trust will take time and effort, but it's definitely possible.

Start by having an open and honest conversation with your dad. Apologize for any inappropriate content he might have come across and explain that you understand his concerns. Let him know that you value his trust and that you'll be more careful in the future about the sites you visit and the content you engage with.

Show him that you are responsible and mature by following the rules he sets for your internet usage. Be consistent in demonstrating that you can be trusted with your phone and computer.

In addition, try to find common ground with your dad on social media. Perhaps show him some of the positive aspects of social media that you enjoy, like staying connected with friends or finding interesting educational content.

Be patient and understanding with your dad as he may need time to rebuild his trust in you. Continue to communicate openly with him, and be willing to make some compromises to regain his confidence.

Lastly, use this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Be mindful of the content you engage with online and remember that everything you post or view can have consequences.

Take care, Mary-Anne, and know that with effort and understanding, you can work towards rebuilding your dad's trust.

Wishing you the best,

Birdy

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