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Does She Like Me Or do I Just Make Her Laugh

Dear Birdy,

I like this girl at work a lot, she is bright, bubbly, good company, a laugh and attractive, but I'm not sure how to approach her about this. She always seems interested when I talk to her, but I've heard rumours that she has a boyfriend who regularly goes to the gym and works out, very fit, and a black belt at judo. Some of her friends at work tell me that her boyfriend can be very possessive and has anger management issues. And there was an issue when a guy at work asked her out a few years ago. It turned very nasty and it resulted in him being sacked. I've only been working here for a year so I did not meet him. I find it very hard to chat up girls and have never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. It would be great if this could work out for me. Is it a good idea to sound her out about this? Should I suggest we meet in secret somewhere after work? Should I suggest that I book a room in a hotel where we can go together for some real privacy? Should I tell her how I feel? Should I ask her out?

Charles

Dear Charles,

Thank you for sharing your feelings and concerns with me. It's wonderful that you've found someone at work who captures your attention and makes you feel intrigued. However, it's important to approach this situation with caution and respect for both yourself and the other person involved.

Given the rumors you've heard about this girl's possessive and potentially volatile boyfriend, it would be unwise to suggest meeting in secret or booking a hotel room. Safety and well-being should always be a priority in any relationship. If the rumors about her boyfriend's behavior are true, it could create a potentially dangerous situation for both of you.

Instead, I would encourage you to take a step back and focus on building a genuine friendship with this girl. Get to know her better as a person without any romantic expectations. Spend time talking and engaging in activities within a group setting. This will allow you to understand her better and assess the dynamics of her current relationship.

It's important to remember that each individual's relationship is unique, and we can't make assumptions based solely on rumors or past experiences. Should you develop a deeper connection and feel comfortable discussing personal matters, you may gently inquire about her relationship status in a non-invasive way. However, avoid prying or pressuring her for information.

Ultimately, respect her boundaries and the commitments she has made in her current relationship. If she becomes single and shows genuine interest in you, then it may be appropriate to consider taking the next step. However, rushing or pursuing someone who is already committed can lead to unnecessary complications and potential harm.

Lastly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Focus on building your confidence and expanding your social circle. Opportunities for connections and relationships can arise when we least expect them. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and allow things to unfold naturally.

Wishing you patience, friendship, and future possibilities,

Birdy

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