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Keep Trying or Time To Let Go?

Dear Birdy Slade,

I'm 21 and in my final year of university. I've been dating my girlfriend for three years, and things were great until recently. We've started arguing a lot, mostly about small, insignificant things. It feels like we're drifting apart, and I'm not sure how to fix it. I love her and want to make it work, but I don't know if these arguments are a sign that we're not right for each other or just a phase we're going through. How can I tell if we should keep trying or if it's time to let go?

Thanks,
Bobby Boy Blue

Dear Bobby Boy Blue

Navigating a long-term relationship, especially during your formative university years, can be challenging. It's a time of significant personal growth, which can sometimes create friction in relationships.

Firstly, it's important to understand that arguments in a relationship are normal, but how you handle them is key. Are these arguments constructive, leading to understanding and growth, or are they destructive, leaving both of you feeling worse off? Reflect on the nature of your conflicts.

Communication is crucial. Sit down with your girlfriend in a calm, neutral setting and express your feelings without placing blame. Try to understand her perspective as well. This open dialogue can help you both uncover underlying issues that might be causing these arguments.

Remember, relationships require effort and commitment from both parties. Are both of you willing to work through these issues? If so, there might be a way forward together. Consider seeking guidance from a relationship counselor; sometimes, a neutral third party can offer invaluable insight.

However, if you find that your values, goals, or ways of communicating are fundamentally misaligned and attempts at resolution are futile, it might be worth considering if this relationship is conducive to your mutual happiness and growth.

In the end, trust your instincts. You know your relationship better than anyone. Whatever decision you make, ensure it aligns with your well-being and personal growth.

Wishing you clarity and happiness,
Birdy Slade

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