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My Twin Girls Do Not Talk to each other

Dear Birdy,

I am writing to you as a deeply concerned parent of 13-year-old twin girls, Lily and Mia. It breaks my heart to witness the intense animosity between them. They refuse to interact with or even speak to one another, expressing feelings of hatred. It has reached a point where they won't even be in the same room together.

As a parent, I'm at a loss for how to mend this fractured relationship. The bond between siblings is supposed to be special and supportive, but it feels like their connection has been shattered. I worry about the long-lasting effects this could have on their well-being and future relationship.

Birdy, I desperately need your guidance. How can I help my daughters repair their relationship and find common ground? How do I foster understanding, empathy, and love between them once again? I want them to have a healthy and nurturing bond as they navigate their teenage years and beyond.

Thank you for lending me your expertise and providing support during this challenging time.

Warm regards,

A Concerned Parent


Dear Concerned Parent,

I understand the heartache and worry you must be experiencing witnessing the strained relationship between Lily and Mia, your twin daughters. It's disheartening to see siblings express such strong negative emotions towards each other. Rest assured, there are steps you can take to help mend their bond and foster a healthier relationship.

Firstly, it's important to create a safe and open space for communication. Encourage each of your daughters to express their feelings, concerns, and frustrations without judgment. Help them understand that their emotions are valid and that they have the opportunity to listen and be heard.

Consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family therapist or counselor, who can facilitate conversations and help your daughters navigate their differences. A professional can provide guidance and strategies to improve communication and understanding between them.

Encourage activities that promote teamwork and collaboration. Engaging in shared interests or hobbies can help them discover common ground and build positive experiences together. It may take time and patience, but gradually encouraging small interactions and cooperation can be a step towards healing their relationship.

Avoid taking sides or fueling conflicts. Remain neutral and focus on providing emotional support to both Lily and Mia. Remind them of their shared experiences, memories, and the love they have for one another as siblings.

Lead by example and demonstrate healthy communication and conflict resolution within the family. Show them the importance of forgiveness, empathy, and understanding. Be patient and encourage small steps towards reconciliation, acknowledging that healing takes time.

Finally, ensure that each of your daughters has their own space to express their individuality and personal interests. This will help them develop a sense of self outside of their twin dynamic, fostering independence and personal growth.

Remember, healing sibling relationships can be a gradual process, but with love, patience, and professional guidance, it's possible for Lily and Mia to rediscover the bond that makes them unique as twins. Your support and dedication as a parent will make a significant difference in their journey towards reconciliation.

Wishing you strength and harmony within your family,

Birdy

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