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Why Doesn't He Notice Me?

Dear Birdy,

I'm a 17-year-old girl in high school, and I have a huge crush on a boy in my class. He's really popular, handsome, and a star in school sports, while I'm more of a quiet, geeky type and I'm overweight. I feel like he doesn't even know I exist. I've tried to get his attention, but it's like I'm invisible to him. I'm really self-conscious about my weight and interests, and I worry that's why he doesn't notice me. How can I get him to see me, or should I just give up on this crush?

Best, Hopelessly Invisible Sarah


Dear Sarah,

Firstly, remember that your worth is not defined by your weight, interests, or who notices you. You are valuable and deserving of attention and respect just as you are.

Having a crush can be a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when it feels one-sided. It's natural to want to be noticed by someone you fancy, but it's also important to consider if this desire is causing you to overlook your own unique qualities.

In terms of getting his attention, the best approach is to be yourself. Share your interests and personality confidently. You mentioned you're geeky – embrace it! Geeky can be very charming. If there's an opportunity to interact with him, perhaps through a school project or a shared interest, use that as a way to show him who you are.

However, it's also crucial to manage expectations. Attraction is a two-way street and can't be forced. If he doesn't respond to your authentic self, it's not a reflection of your value, but rather an indication of differing interests or compatibility.

Focus on building your self-esteem independent of others' validation. Engage in activities you love, spend time with friends who appreciate you, and practice self-care. Remember, a person's character and how they treat others is far more attractive in the long run than just physical appearance or popularity.

If you find that this crush is affecting your self-esteem or happiness, it might be healthy to step back and focus on what makes you feel good about yourself. The right person will notice and appreciate you for who you truly are.

Wishing you confidence and happiness,
Birdy Slade

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